Wow. That's about the only word I can think of right now to describe the day that I've had. Chris was going fishing this morning and had to leave the house by 7am and I had to go into work to do a hair cut so I had to leave by 7:30am...SOOO... Chris and I got up at 6:15 and the kids shortly after (this is way earlier than normal for us) and he helped me get them ready before he left and we all loaded up and were off! I was pretty impressed that we actually made it to my salon on time. Everything seemed to be going great. After I was done we loaded back in the van and set off for our errand running. I was feeling pretty good at this point because it was 9am and we were already starting our errands. If all went well we'd be done by noon and back home in time for naps.
Costco was our first stop. We did our shopping and ate some food and were all feeling pretty good....until we got back to the van and realized my keys were still in the ignition and the doors were locked. BLAST! How in the world did I do that? I almost never lock my doors (I know I know) but I had all sorts of stuff in the van today that I was going to be returning/exchanging at various places and I know how tempting toddler clothes are to criminals so I locked the doors. Why were the keys not in my purse? I have no idea! Thankfully we have AAA so I gave them a call and they were on their way. About 50 minutes later the locksmith (who by the way had the personality of a river rock) showed up. In case none of you know, standing in the parking lot with a shopping cart full of 4 kids for 50 minutes while you wait for a locksmith is less than relaxing and not how I envisioned spending my Saturday morning. When he arrived he called to see where I was parked then hung up on me while I was still talking because he spotted me, jumped out of his van and did not say hello, unlocked my door in a flash, then jumped back in his van an bolted without saying goodbye or anything. Wow. That is what I call customer service :/
Back in the van and off we go again to Sam's. No, I am not addicted to warehouse superstores. I don't actually have a Sam's membership but the girls were given a couple dresses that were the wrong size and my aunt gave me the receipts so I could take them back. Well, Sam's would not let me return them because I don't have a card with them even though I had the receipts. Great. Now we are stuck with two dresses we don't need. I am pretty irritated at this point because not only did we lose an hour in the parking lot of Costco but now we had wasted thirty more minutes driving and unloading and reloading for no good reason. So I'm running behind and it's a few minutes til noon. Oh well. The sun's out, it's a beautiful day, I have beautiful kids and now we're off to Target. Actually when we loaded back in the van I checked Neva's diaper first....dry as a bone! Sweet!
Off we go. Approx 10 minutes went by before we all unloaded in the Target parking lot (we found a great parking spot and a giant kid friendly buggy just happened to be sitting right next to it...SCORE!). Wait...do I smell poop? Oh my gosh I smell poop. Good grief I just checked her diaper. Oh my gosh... is that poop coming out of her diaper and through her pants? Yes. Yes it is. I rush digging through the van trying to see if I have extra clothes. Now Liam is standing next to me jumping around like he's doing some sort of interpretive dance screaming "I gotta pee!". "Ok just a minute buddy we're going inside to the potty" I say over my shoulder as I'm searching the van. Now he get's louder and is starting to cry "I gotta pee so bad! The pee pee's coming out!". I found some clean pants for Neva and everyone hopped in our huge buggy and I started pushing faster than I've ever pushed before! The Target on the Parkway does not have one of those big family bathrooms that you can fit 12 people and a cart in so it's always interesting trying to take everyone to the potty there. We made in time for Liam thankfully (boy that was close) and after a lot of wipes and a bunch of irritated looks from strangers because we were taking up so much space in the bathroom (whatever people), the emergency was over and we were ready to return our stuff. OK! Stuff returned, ready to go to the mall.
By now many of you are probably thinking "what is wrong with you trying to run all these errands with 4 kids anyway?". The kids go everywhere with me and usually we don't have too many problems but looking back now I do think I probably set a slightly unrealistic goal for today. I just wanted to get it all knocked out so I don't have to do it later this week. In my mind I pictured it going a lot smoother but that's OK! I was still determined to get the rest of my list done so when we were done at Target we loaded back up and were off to the mall. We started at Sears and all in all that went ok. It took a little longer than I'd hoped but no major incidents so that was good. The kids by this time are pretty much over running errands and Rachel is starting to complain. Elliott is having a really hard time keeping his hands off of everything we pass. My nerves are a little frazzled but we only needed to go to JC Penny and then we were done at the mall. Sears has shopping carts so I was able to put Neva on my back and Liam and Rachel in a cart which helped things go smoother. However, when we needed to leave Sears and head to the opposite end of the mall we had to give up the cart. Recently I sold our double stroller because it got on my nerves and somehow we lost our umbrella stroller so now we are stroller-less. No biggie. We can do this. If the Duggars can go everywhere with all their kids surely I can make a quick trip to the mall with my 4 without being escorted out by security. Right?
It was a little tricky but we made it through the mall, all holding hands, and were in line at JC Penny. We were so close to being able to return our stuff and get out of there. The kids were very restless and I kept having to remind them not to touch things, not to hang on each others necks, not to talk so loud...I felt like people were staring. When you go places with 4 kids you get 2 different types of looks from people. Some people are smiling and they tell you what a beautiful family you have and how they had a bunch of kids too and it was so great....and then there's the people that look at you like they are disgusted and they can't believe you had so many kids on purpose and how dare you bring them out in public. At that moment I felt like it was the second type of people that were staring. Now it was our turn to go to the counter. I got everyone's attention and we joined hands again and took a few steps when suddenly a manikin that we'd been standing next to came toppling over and fell on top of an old woman in a wheelchair that was at the counter next to us! Neva, who was in the carrier on my back (I had been pretty sure up until that point that she was the only one of my children not touching things and being a nuisance), had unbeknownst to me had a big handful of the shirt that the manikin was wearing and when we started walking she did not let go. OH MY GOSH! My toddler had seriously just pulled over a life size manikin and it fell on an old woman in a wheelchair!! Now there were definitely people staring. The poor woman could not have been more surprised if I had walked up and smacked her in the face. She said she was ok but I think her arm was bruised. I apologized over and over but that just didn't seem like enough. She was so nice and for some strange reason acted like she almost felt sorry for ME (I could not imagine why accept that she must have thought I had my hands full trying to go shopping with my gang). Oh my goodness. Ok time to hurry over to the baby section and find something to replace the clothing I'd returned and then we needed to get out of there before anything else happened. About 1 minute into the baby section and I looked over and saw Liam was having a nose bleed. He literally has blood all over his face and it was still coming. Holy moly! Of course this is the day I didn't bring the diaper bag in with me so I have nothing to help him with. We all grabbed hands again and ran to the bathroom. After I get his face cleaned up and have a handful of napkins for him to hold on his nose for a few minutes I looked up into the big mirror to check myself and realized that the rubber band that had been holding my right pigtail was gone (yes I am a grown woman and yes I was wearing pigtails today). So I have 1 pigtail and 1 crazy fro on the other side. When did this happen? How long had I been walking around like this? Did I mention that I saw someone I knew in Sears and she stopped and had a short conversation with me? No wonder that woman looked at me with pity. I was a WRECK! My kids were out of control and I looked like I had stuck my finger in a light socket. At this point I felt like had to do something about my hair or I would not be able to walk back through the mall with my head up so we all ran out of the bathroom to the little girl section and I grabbed the only set of hair ties I could find for sale and I quickly pulled on out of the pack and put my hair back up. Never mind that it was hot pink and had a funny felt flower attached to it. At least I had two distinct ponytails now. I decided that it was time for us to go home and began thinking that we should have probably gone home a lot sooner. I was tired, the kids were tired, my nerves were shot, Liam's nose was stained with blood. The rest of our errands would have to wait til another day. I snagged a couple baby rompers off a wrack and we ran to the counter to pay for them along with my new hair accessories. Once out of Pennys we headed through the mall toward Sears where the van was parked. When we passed the little play area in front of Macy's all of the kids asked why we weren't stopping. I told them because of our day and because they did not listen to Mommy in the store and touched things they weren't supposed to that we could not stop there today. Everyone started to cry and Elliott went into a full blown meltdown. I felt like crying too.
We finally made it back to the van and headed back home. When we got home everyone took a very long nap and I sat and enjoyed some much needed peace and quiet. I think it's time to get my books back out "Shepherding a Child's Heart" and "To Train Up a Child" and regroup. After all of this as I look around my crazy house I am thankful. Yes I am tired and I don't think I will ever attempt so many errands in one day unless I'm alone but I am thankful that the woman in the wheelchair was not badly injured. I am thankful that I have a wonderful husband who is almost home. I am thankful for 4 kids who even though they were not on their best behavior today they are still amazing gifts from God and I know I am blessed. I am thankful for my crazy life. I am thankful that even though I am not the perfect mother or the perfect wife or the perfect housekeeper I have a Heavenly Father who loves me and gave His only Son for me :-)
Romans 5:8 "But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us."
Saturday, April 6, 2013
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
One Man's Junk......
I've been a little heavy hearted this week. I had a Dr appointment on Monday that I waited months for and it didn't go like I'd hoped. I won't go into details, I'll just say that it was a waste of my time and money and I did not get the help I was hoping for. I was really disappointed and have been in a bit of a funk since. I thought about writing about it but I hate to be a whiner and I know even though I didn't get what I wanted I still have a lot to be thankful for, so I didn't.
This morning started the same as most. Chris brought me a cup of coffee in bed and gave me a kiss as he rushed out the door for work. I sat on our bed for a minute and sipped the hot beverage that would soon bring me to life so that I could get on with my day. I thought about all the things I needed to do. I thought about how I hadn't blogged in several days. I thought again about blogging about my problems and disappointments but decided that was depressing and no one wants to hear about that. I prayed a quick prayer and asked God to give me something happy and inspiring to blog about today. I knew the kids were in the backyard playing and I wouldn't be able to hear them scream if disaster happened (which is pretty much a daily occurrence around our house) so I forced myself to get up even though I didn't sleep last night and I feel terrible.
When the kids realize I'm up they flog me, asking for a multitude of things at once...bananas, cereal, almond milk, help with the potty...the usual. I get everyone set up and realize Kaleb is sitting in the dining room floor looking like I feel (which is bad) so I ask him if he's ok. He tells me he's tired but there's no where to sleep because the kids will find him and bother him. I told him to go lay in their room and I would keep them away. I decided I would put on a movie for the others so they would definitely stay in the living room but when I went to lay down the blanket for them to lounge on (because we have no furniture right now because we're moving...long story I'll get to another day) I realize the floor is filthy and I need to sweep before I put the blanket down. So I start to sweep, pushing moving boxes out of the way and generally clearing a suitable spot for the blanket when I spot it....in a box near the front door. I hadn't paid any attention to this box because we have so many everywhere I just figured it had yard sale stuff in it and never gave it a second look...but this box was different. It was not one that I'd seen before and as I peered down at it's contents a flood of excitement poured over me and for a minute I forgot that I felt bad. Where did this come from? Was I dreaming or was this for real? It was a miracle....it was....a KEURIG! Now anyone who knows me well knows that I am obsessed with coffee. Coffee, java, mud, joe, nectar of the gods....call it whatever you want but I love it! We have a lovely old school percolator coffee pot that we love but there is something about the Keurig that's had my attention for a while. Well for one, their just plain neat. Beautiful, modern, buttons that glow... the idea of getting a fresh cup of coffee every time and never getting the last bit of the pot that is slightly burnt and not nearly as tasty as the first cup...what's not to love? I've watched and participated in the demos at Costco many times, ooooing and aaaaahing as if the demonstrator was performing some sort of magical trick...and then I look at the price tag on the display model and I come back to my senses and walk away sipping my cup of fresh coffee thinking to myself "well, that was fun, maybe one day...".
I wondered where in the world this had come from. I threw the broom down and ran into the kids room where poor Kaleb was almost asleep.... "Kaleb, Kaleb! Did your mom bring me a coffee maker?" Kaleb in a daze "what, a coffee maker?"....me "a coffee maker! It's in a box in the living room..did your mom bring it?"...Kaleb groggily "a box, uh, maybe". Well he wasn't any help so I ran to the phone to call Katie and when she answered I practically burst..."did you bring me a Keurig?"!!! She said she did and it was for me to sell at our yard sale on Sat. I was a little bummed and then she said that it had come from her work and that it didn't work very well so they never used it, so instead of throwing it away she donated it to our yard sale. I asked a few questions about what was wrong with it and then I think sensing my disappointment she said "I mean, you can play around with it if you want"...that's all I needed to hear:) I hung up and raced back to the living room and pulled the amazing invention from it's cardboard home. I sat it on the kitchen counter and stared at it. It was beautiful! The kids could sense my excitement and they danced around in the kitchen behind me as I filled the reservoir with water and inserted the tiny cup of coffee grounds. Then it was time...I pushed the beautiful blue glowing button and tah dah!!!! A glorious cup of hot coffee was made in a matter of seconds right before my eyes! I quickly added my milk and sugar and gave it a good stir and then the moment of truth...I put the cup to my lips and sipped.......aaaaaaaaaahhhhhh! AMAZING! Katie had told me that they had not successfully made a good strong cup of coffee with it and decided they didn't want it. I don't know what could have been their problem but my cup was wonderful! I checked with her to make sure I understood correctly that it was mine to sell or do whatever with and she said it was. HOORAY!!!! Chris called a bit later and we talked about how excited we were and agreed that we would never be able to sell it at our yard sale for a substantial amount so it was worth more to us sitting in it's new place on the kitchen counter than it was in our yard sale pile. I was reminded of the old saying "One man's junk is another man's treasure". :)
As I finished my cup of coffee with feelings of excitement about making another cup welling up inside me, I realized that this really was a miracle of sorts. Of course I did not NEED a Keurig but I had wanted one for a really long time. I don't think I've ever actually prayed for one but since God knows all of our thoughts He surely knew how much I'd wanted one. I had come to the realization a while ago that I probably would not have one for a very long time, like years. We are on a very strict budget and all of our money is pretty much spoken for before we get it. We have all sorts of "funds" that we put money into regularly in order to have enough to pay for things when needs arise, like groceries, medical, electricity, etc. and "Keurig fund" is definitely not one of them. I was reminded that while of course we don't always get what we want when we want it, God is always listening and sometimes when we least expect it He gives us the desires of our heart.
"Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.Psalm 37:4"
If God is paying attention to the little things in my life, like my love of coffee and kitchen appliances, then how much more does He care about the really important things like Dr's appointments. I have to remember God's timing is not always the same as our timing.
"And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.Galatians 6:9"
Instead of being discouraged that my Dr appointment didn't go like I wanted I will trust that God knows all about it and He has a plan for me that is so much better than anything I could come up with on my own. I will be strong in the Lord and trust in His grace to get me through this rough patch.
"And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 2 Corinthians 12:9"
Praise the Lord for another day, my dream coffee maker and something to blog about:)
This morning started the same as most. Chris brought me a cup of coffee in bed and gave me a kiss as he rushed out the door for work. I sat on our bed for a minute and sipped the hot beverage that would soon bring me to life so that I could get on with my day. I thought about all the things I needed to do. I thought about how I hadn't blogged in several days. I thought again about blogging about my problems and disappointments but decided that was depressing and no one wants to hear about that. I prayed a quick prayer and asked God to give me something happy and inspiring to blog about today. I knew the kids were in the backyard playing and I wouldn't be able to hear them scream if disaster happened (which is pretty much a daily occurrence around our house) so I forced myself to get up even though I didn't sleep last night and I feel terrible.
When the kids realize I'm up they flog me, asking for a multitude of things at once...bananas, cereal, almond milk, help with the potty...the usual. I get everyone set up and realize Kaleb is sitting in the dining room floor looking like I feel (which is bad) so I ask him if he's ok. He tells me he's tired but there's no where to sleep because the kids will find him and bother him. I told him to go lay in their room and I would keep them away. I decided I would put on a movie for the others so they would definitely stay in the living room but when I went to lay down the blanket for them to lounge on (because we have no furniture right now because we're moving...long story I'll get to another day) I realize the floor is filthy and I need to sweep before I put the blanket down. So I start to sweep, pushing moving boxes out of the way and generally clearing a suitable spot for the blanket when I spot it....in a box near the front door. I hadn't paid any attention to this box because we have so many everywhere I just figured it had yard sale stuff in it and never gave it a second look...but this box was different. It was not one that I'd seen before and as I peered down at it's contents a flood of excitement poured over me and for a minute I forgot that I felt bad. Where did this come from? Was I dreaming or was this for real? It was a miracle....it was....a KEURIG! Now anyone who knows me well knows that I am obsessed with coffee. Coffee, java, mud, joe, nectar of the gods....call it whatever you want but I love it! We have a lovely old school percolator coffee pot that we love but there is something about the Keurig that's had my attention for a while. Well for one, their just plain neat. Beautiful, modern, buttons that glow... the idea of getting a fresh cup of coffee every time and never getting the last bit of the pot that is slightly burnt and not nearly as tasty as the first cup...what's not to love? I've watched and participated in the demos at Costco many times, ooooing and aaaaahing as if the demonstrator was performing some sort of magical trick...and then I look at the price tag on the display model and I come back to my senses and walk away sipping my cup of fresh coffee thinking to myself "well, that was fun, maybe one day...".
I wondered where in the world this had come from. I threw the broom down and ran into the kids room where poor Kaleb was almost asleep.... "Kaleb, Kaleb! Did your mom bring me a coffee maker?" Kaleb in a daze "what, a coffee maker?"....me "a coffee maker! It's in a box in the living room..did your mom bring it?"...Kaleb groggily "a box, uh, maybe". Well he wasn't any help so I ran to the phone to call Katie and when she answered I practically burst..."did you bring me a Keurig?"!!! She said she did and it was for me to sell at our yard sale on Sat. I was a little bummed and then she said that it had come from her work and that it didn't work very well so they never used it, so instead of throwing it away she donated it to our yard sale. I asked a few questions about what was wrong with it and then I think sensing my disappointment she said "I mean, you can play around with it if you want"...that's all I needed to hear:) I hung up and raced back to the living room and pulled the amazing invention from it's cardboard home. I sat it on the kitchen counter and stared at it. It was beautiful! The kids could sense my excitement and they danced around in the kitchen behind me as I filled the reservoir with water and inserted the tiny cup of coffee grounds. Then it was time...I pushed the beautiful blue glowing button and tah dah!!!! A glorious cup of hot coffee was made in a matter of seconds right before my eyes! I quickly added my milk and sugar and gave it a good stir and then the moment of truth...I put the cup to my lips and sipped.......aaaaaaaaaahhhhhh! AMAZING! Katie had told me that they had not successfully made a good strong cup of coffee with it and decided they didn't want it. I don't know what could have been their problem but my cup was wonderful! I checked with her to make sure I understood correctly that it was mine to sell or do whatever with and she said it was. HOORAY!!!! Chris called a bit later and we talked about how excited we were and agreed that we would never be able to sell it at our yard sale for a substantial amount so it was worth more to us sitting in it's new place on the kitchen counter than it was in our yard sale pile. I was reminded of the old saying "One man's junk is another man's treasure". :)
As I finished my cup of coffee with feelings of excitement about making another cup welling up inside me, I realized that this really was a miracle of sorts. Of course I did not NEED a Keurig but I had wanted one for a really long time. I don't think I've ever actually prayed for one but since God knows all of our thoughts He surely knew how much I'd wanted one. I had come to the realization a while ago that I probably would not have one for a very long time, like years. We are on a very strict budget and all of our money is pretty much spoken for before we get it. We have all sorts of "funds" that we put money into regularly in order to have enough to pay for things when needs arise, like groceries, medical, electricity, etc. and "Keurig fund" is definitely not one of them. I was reminded that while of course we don't always get what we want when we want it, God is always listening and sometimes when we least expect it He gives us the desires of our heart.
"Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart.Psalm 37:4"
If God is paying attention to the little things in my life, like my love of coffee and kitchen appliances, then how much more does He care about the really important things like Dr's appointments. I have to remember God's timing is not always the same as our timing.
"And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.Galatians 6:9"
Instead of being discouraged that my Dr appointment didn't go like I wanted I will trust that God knows all about it and He has a plan for me that is so much better than anything I could come up with on my own. I will be strong in the Lord and trust in His grace to get me through this rough patch.
"And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 2 Corinthians 12:9"
Praise the Lord for another day, my dream coffee maker and something to blog about:)
Saturday, July 28, 2012
Insecurity and cupcakes
(from Friday, July 25th)
My sister and I were recently talking about how sometimes when we're talking to people we say something or do something and suddenly we have this feeling that maybe we shouldn't have. I'm not talking about things that are rude or things we obviously shouldn't say or do. I'm talking about normal everyday conversations where sometimes you just get an "uncool" feeling like you don't quite fit in. We both giggled and agreed we don't like that feeling.
Yesterday the kids and I went to a birthday lunch and ran some errands. From the first conversation I had to the last one before I came back home, I had one "uncool" moment after another. Some of them had real reasons for being awkward, like when I had a piece of potato skin from my waffle fry stuck in my front teeth and didn't realize it (ugh!) or when Liam decided in the checkout line at Costco that he would make a glass shattering, shrieking noise akin to a pod of dolphins during mating season (I'm pretty sure our 20yr old customer service associate vowed to never procreate after the 3rd one of these wonderful displays of Liam's extreme vocal range). The rest of the times were just awkward for me and I wasn't sure why. I mean everyone that I had talked with was very nice and no one did anything to make me feel awkward but I still felt so "uncool" and out of place. Part of me wondered if it was because I didn't put on my makeup (I know that is silly). I know makeup doesn't make one "cool" but it does help boost self confidence. I decided to call my sister and share my day with her and get another perspective. After telling her about every little thing that made me feel weird she agreed that a few of those occasions were justified but she thought that most of my awkwardness was self inflicted, so to speak. She said that she thought I felt that way because I was insecure and my body language showed that. Other people pick up on that and then they act funny and then I feel funny....you get the idea. After we hung up the phone I thought about what she said. Was I so insecure that I was making my own self feel uncool? Why was I insecure? We were taught as children that we should always be ourselves because God made us special and that fitting in and being "cool" shouldn't be a major concern. I really do believe that but still sometimes that yucky feeling that I felt as a child creeps in and I feel like a big dork. I decided to go to my Bible. I found so many verses that made me feel better. I was reminded that I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Pslam 139:14) and I need not be insecure or fear for anything:
"Be careful (anxious) for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7"
"Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body nor what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat,and the body more than raiment? Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they? Matthew 2:25-26"
And this one is so wonderful. Growing up in church and in a Christian home we were made to memorize this one. After reciting it a hundred times you don't always think about what you're saying when you say it, it just becomes a habit, but when I saw this today the words jumped off the page at me. They were beautiful:
"The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: He leadeth me beside still waters. He restoreth my soul: He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff shall comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever. Psalm 23"
There are so many more verses I don't have time to post. I'm so glad I took the time to check my Bible. Lately I haven't spent enough time doing that and it shows. I've been insecure and stressed but after reading these verses and many more I feel so much better. I don't have to worry about being "cool", whatever that is anyway, and according to the Bible I don't need to worry about anything. God knows my needs before I need them and He knows my fears before I'm ever afraid and He's got them all covered. What a relief to know that He's watching over me and has my life under control. If He knows the number of hairs on my head and not one sparrow falls that He doesn't know about (Matthew 10:29-31) then I know he cares about all of the tiny details of my life, not just the big ones. That makes me feel better and more confident than all the make up in the world.
After all of our shopping and errands we came home and I made gluten free cupcakes for my sweet Liam. I can't believe he is 3 years old. It really seems like just yesterday we were waiting to meet him... It was about 4pm and I was laboring quietly in my bathtub while Chris was playing the guitar and singing to me Bob Seger's "Against the wind" (I know that sounds funny but Chris has a beautiful voice and I love it when he sings that song). Rachel and Elliot were playing, completely oblivious to the fact that they were about to have a baby brother. My mommy and sister were in my living room waiting, very excited but a little nervous because we were having a homebirth. Then at 5:10pm on Sunday, July 26th, 2009 our sweet curly headed boy was born into Chris's hands, so tiny (5lbs 10oz, 18") and helpless. So so sweet. Such wonderful memories. Now he's still sweet (and very feisty) but so much bigger and can do anything his big brother can do and then some (he's my dare devil). After we ate dinner I let the kids pick out what color sprinkles they each wanted on their cupcake. They were so excited! Sprinkles are pretty awesome so I can't blame them. Liam did not appreciate our special rendition of "Happy Birthday" and was screaming by the end of it "I don't like that". HAHAHA! It was a wonderful evening and a great end to an awkward day. A wonderful dinner and quality time with 5 people who never make me feel out of place or "uncool". Thank you Lord for my beautiful family.
My sister and I were recently talking about how sometimes when we're talking to people we say something or do something and suddenly we have this feeling that maybe we shouldn't have. I'm not talking about things that are rude or things we obviously shouldn't say or do. I'm talking about normal everyday conversations where sometimes you just get an "uncool" feeling like you don't quite fit in. We both giggled and agreed we don't like that feeling.
Yesterday the kids and I went to a birthday lunch and ran some errands. From the first conversation I had to the last one before I came back home, I had one "uncool" moment after another. Some of them had real reasons for being awkward, like when I had a piece of potato skin from my waffle fry stuck in my front teeth and didn't realize it (ugh!) or when Liam decided in the checkout line at Costco that he would make a glass shattering, shrieking noise akin to a pod of dolphins during mating season (I'm pretty sure our 20yr old customer service associate vowed to never procreate after the 3rd one of these wonderful displays of Liam's extreme vocal range). The rest of the times were just awkward for me and I wasn't sure why. I mean everyone that I had talked with was very nice and no one did anything to make me feel awkward but I still felt so "uncool" and out of place. Part of me wondered if it was because I didn't put on my makeup (I know that is silly). I know makeup doesn't make one "cool" but it does help boost self confidence. I decided to call my sister and share my day with her and get another perspective. After telling her about every little thing that made me feel weird she agreed that a few of those occasions were justified but she thought that most of my awkwardness was self inflicted, so to speak. She said that she thought I felt that way because I was insecure and my body language showed that. Other people pick up on that and then they act funny and then I feel funny....you get the idea. After we hung up the phone I thought about what she said. Was I so insecure that I was making my own self feel uncool? Why was I insecure? We were taught as children that we should always be ourselves because God made us special and that fitting in and being "cool" shouldn't be a major concern. I really do believe that but still sometimes that yucky feeling that I felt as a child creeps in and I feel like a big dork. I decided to go to my Bible. I found so many verses that made me feel better. I was reminded that I am fearfully and wonderfully made (Pslam 139:14) and I need not be insecure or fear for anything:
"Be careful (anxious) for nothing; but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Philippians 4:6-7"
"Therefore I say unto you, Take no thought for your life, what ye shall eat or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body nor what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat,and the body more than raiment? Behold the fowls of the air: for they sow not, neither do they reap, nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they? Matthew 2:25-26"
And this one is so wonderful. Growing up in church and in a Christian home we were made to memorize this one. After reciting it a hundred times you don't always think about what you're saying when you say it, it just becomes a habit, but when I saw this today the words jumped off the page at me. They were beautiful:
"The LORD is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: He leadeth me beside still waters. He restoreth my soul: He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff shall comfort me. Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over. Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever. Psalm 23"
There are so many more verses I don't have time to post. I'm so glad I took the time to check my Bible. Lately I haven't spent enough time doing that and it shows. I've been insecure and stressed but after reading these verses and many more I feel so much better. I don't have to worry about being "cool", whatever that is anyway, and according to the Bible I don't need to worry about anything. God knows my needs before I need them and He knows my fears before I'm ever afraid and He's got them all covered. What a relief to know that He's watching over me and has my life under control. If He knows the number of hairs on my head and not one sparrow falls that He doesn't know about (Matthew 10:29-31) then I know he cares about all of the tiny details of my life, not just the big ones. That makes me feel better and more confident than all the make up in the world.
After all of our shopping and errands we came home and I made gluten free cupcakes for my sweet Liam. I can't believe he is 3 years old. It really seems like just yesterday we were waiting to meet him... It was about 4pm and I was laboring quietly in my bathtub while Chris was playing the guitar and singing to me Bob Seger's "Against the wind" (I know that sounds funny but Chris has a beautiful voice and I love it when he sings that song). Rachel and Elliot were playing, completely oblivious to the fact that they were about to have a baby brother. My mommy and sister were in my living room waiting, very excited but a little nervous because we were having a homebirth. Then at 5:10pm on Sunday, July 26th, 2009 our sweet curly headed boy was born into Chris's hands, so tiny (5lbs 10oz, 18") and helpless. So so sweet. Such wonderful memories. Now he's still sweet (and very feisty) but so much bigger and can do anything his big brother can do and then some (he's my dare devil). After we ate dinner I let the kids pick out what color sprinkles they each wanted on their cupcake. They were so excited! Sprinkles are pretty awesome so I can't blame them. Liam did not appreciate our special rendition of "Happy Birthday" and was screaming by the end of it "I don't like that". HAHAHA! It was a wonderful evening and a great end to an awkward day. A wonderful dinner and quality time with 5 people who never make me feel out of place or "uncool". Thank you Lord for my beautiful family.
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
My first blog post!
So this is my very first blog post! HOORAY! I've been wanting to start this for a very long time but there seems to always be something that gets in the way of me actually doing it. I'm so excited and have so many ideas in my head that I've been storing up, I don't know where to start! Let me just start with today:)
Today, we are battling strep throat in our house :-/ We have an epidemic that started about 7 weeks ago with Rachel, then myself, then Elliott, then Rachel again. Yesterday I had to go back to the Dr because I have it again. Elliott has abdominal pain and was throwing up in the middle of the night (I didn't realize until all of this that abdominal pain, vomiting and a bad headache goes with strep) so the Dr is going to call a prescription in for him and Chris just got back from the Dr because now he has it too (and he never gets sick). This has been horrible. I feel like we need to set off some sort of germ killing bomb in our house to get rid of this funk.
Thursday is Liam's 3rd birthday. I have no idea what I'm going to do for him. Of course I'm going to bake him a cake (gluten free of course) but that's about as far as I've gotten. I feel bad that I've not planned more before this point but our lives are so crazy right now between fighting sickness for weeks and trying to pack and get ready to move. We knew we weren't going to have a big party this time so I guess since I wasn't so pressured to plan like a crazy person I just didn't plan at all. I need to figure out a plan quickly.
I feel very unorganized right now but I keep telling myself after we get moved it will be better. We will have less stuff (literally) to worry with and I'm determined to unpack in a timely manner so we aren't tripping over boxes for weeks (or months) and to get the new place organized just right as quickly as possible so we can resume our normal lives. It looks like by the time we actually get moved I will really need to get settled ASAP because school starts back in a few weeks and I HAVE to be ready to jump into homeschooling this year with both feet. I purchased this a while back to help me organize my daily schedule but I haven't started it yet. This WILL be one of the first things I do though after we get moved. It really does look very interesting and has a lot of great reviews from mothers with a lot more kids that I have (which gives me much hope:) so I'm really excited about trying it out. I'll definitely do a post on that when I do it.
Well I guess this is all for my first post. Even though I feel like poo there's still stuff to do around here and right now it's laundry (actually it's always laundry:)
Today, we are battling strep throat in our house :-/ We have an epidemic that started about 7 weeks ago with Rachel, then myself, then Elliott, then Rachel again. Yesterday I had to go back to the Dr because I have it again. Elliott has abdominal pain and was throwing up in the middle of the night (I didn't realize until all of this that abdominal pain, vomiting and a bad headache goes with strep) so the Dr is going to call a prescription in for him and Chris just got back from the Dr because now he has it too (and he never gets sick). This has been horrible. I feel like we need to set off some sort of germ killing bomb in our house to get rid of this funk.
Thursday is Liam's 3rd birthday. I have no idea what I'm going to do for him. Of course I'm going to bake him a cake (gluten free of course) but that's about as far as I've gotten. I feel bad that I've not planned more before this point but our lives are so crazy right now between fighting sickness for weeks and trying to pack and get ready to move. We knew we weren't going to have a big party this time so I guess since I wasn't so pressured to plan like a crazy person I just didn't plan at all. I need to figure out a plan quickly.
I feel very unorganized right now but I keep telling myself after we get moved it will be better. We will have less stuff (literally) to worry with and I'm determined to unpack in a timely manner so we aren't tripping over boxes for weeks (or months) and to get the new place organized just right as quickly as possible so we can resume our normal lives. It looks like by the time we actually get moved I will really need to get settled ASAP because school starts back in a few weeks and I HAVE to be ready to jump into homeschooling this year with both feet. I purchased this a while back to help me organize my daily schedule but I haven't started it yet. This WILL be one of the first things I do though after we get moved. It really does look very interesting and has a lot of great reviews from mothers with a lot more kids that I have (which gives me much hope:) so I'm really excited about trying it out. I'll definitely do a post on that when I do it.
Well I guess this is all for my first post. Even though I feel like poo there's still stuff to do around here and right now it's laundry (actually it's always laundry:)
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